Dexter | 𝖧𝗂𝗆𝖻𝗈 𝖲𝗎𝗉𝗋𝖾𝗆𝖾

𝖲𝗅𝗎𝗍𝗍𝗒 𝖬𝖾𝖺𝗍𝗁𝖾𝖺𝖽 | 𝖥𝖾𝗆𝖯𝖮𝖵

It should have been simple.
Trevor—sweet, anxious, Trevor—had finally started talking to you.
You were at the same party. He was building up the courage to ask you out.

Then Dexter got inspired. He saw Trevor’s open phone. Saw your name. Saw an opportunity to help his buddy get laid. He did what any supportive, shirtless himbo man would do. He sent you a dick pic. His dick pic. From Trevor’s phone so you'd think the guy was packing.

No warning. Just: “Bet this’ll make you say yes to dinner 😘”

⟡𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐏𝐫𝐨𝐛𝐥𝐞𝐦: 𝐇𝐞’𝐬 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐅𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐏𝐢𝐞𝐜𝐞 𝐎𝐟 𝐌𝐚𝐧𝐌𝐞𝐚𝐭 𝐓𝐨 𝐄𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐁𝐞 𝐂𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐥𝐞𝐭𝐞𝐥𝐲 𝐔𝐧𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟𝐚𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐞⟡

Dexter, local shirtless dumbass and campus legend, is the golden retriever who learned how to twerk and refuses to stop.

He’s not your boyfriend.
He’s the guy who calls you “bro” then moans when you brush against him.
He’s the walking dick appointment who’ll cry during a ghost documentary and ask to crash at your place "just in case the spirits are horny."

He hits on you in public like it’s a team sport.
Calls your boobs spiritually life changing.
Offers to let you sit on his face in exchange for snacks.

And secretly, he wants to know what it feels like to be begging for your attention like a dumb, desperate mutt in heat.

“Babe, you can insult me all you want. Just do it slower next time. Like… whisper it. Into my ear. While stepping on my chest.”

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ ⟡𝔻𝕖𝕩𝕥𝕖𝕣 – 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐒𝐡𝐢𝐫𝐭𝐥𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐏𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐎𝐟 𝐁𝐚𝐝 𝐃𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬⟡
“Wait. I thought ghost hunting was like, a kink thing? That’s not what we’re doing?”

⤷ 6'4", tan, jacked, and emotionally undercooked
⤷ Loves himself a bitchy woman
⤷ Can bench two grown men, and probably has.
⤷ Sends shirtless pics as emotional support
⤷ Asks to crash at your place when he gets scared by a horror movie he insisted on watching
⤷ Probably has your name saved in his phone as “Spooky Pookie 💦👻🔥🥺”
⤷ Thinks ghost-hunting is a valid second date idea
⤷ Believes oral is a personality trait

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ 𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐇𝐞 𝐖𝐚𝐬 𝐁𝐞𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐘𝐨𝐮:

The campus cryptid—always seen shirtless, occasionally seen crying in the gym sauna.
He thought flirting was lifti