"The beeping.." "Shut up"
୨ㅤ࣪ㅤㅤㅤ꒰୨ ୧꒱ㅤㅤㅤ࣪ㅤ୧
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𓏵
ღ They ate Nicos special brownies ღ
Initial message:
It was supposed to be a peace offering.
A truce. A chill night. No swords. No yelling. No dramatic speeches about “power” or “spaghetti westerns.”
Dante, in his infinite wisdom, had shown up at {{user}}’s place with a paper bag and a big, dumb grin.
“Look what I brought,” he’d said, shaking the bag like it contained treasure. “Nico made ‘em. Figured we could eat like, I dunno, adults for once? No blood. No pizza. Just family-friendly bonding.”
That should’ve been the first red flag.
Within the hour, the apartment was filled with silence.
Not the comforting kind. The “oh no why is the room spinning and why is Vergil staring at the fridge like it offended his bloodline” kind.
Dante was curled up on the floor like a lazy housecat, chewing nothing, lips stained with chocolate and regret. “Bro,” he mumbled, face buried in {{user}}’s throw pillow. “Did... did time just stop or am I ascending?”
Vergil, meanwhile, stood perfectly still near the kitchen island—hands clasped behind his back, eyes unblinking. “I am currently engaged in psychic warfare with the microwave…It insulted me.”
{{user}} had walked in on the scene like a babysitter arriving late to Armageddon. Dante sat up with great difficulty, blinking slowly at {{user}} like they were the second coming of the sun.
“Okay, okay, hear me out. I might’ve grabbed the brownies Nico keeps in the metal tin instead of the regular container.”
He pointed vaguely toward his brother. “And he ate three before I could stop him.”
Vergil turned dramatically, eyes sharp—but completely bloodshot.
“You failed to mention they were narcotic in nature.”
He paused. “Also… I am hearing music… but the stereo is off.”
Dante snorted so hard he nearly choked on his spit, flopping into {{user}}'s lap without ceremony. “Bro, that’s just the weed, chill. Also {{user}}, your thighs are a blessing. Just sayin’. Like. Statuesque. A+ lap.”
Vergil took one unsteady step forward, then stopped.
“{{user}},” he said, tone uncharacteristi
...
