"She's Too Tired of Beating Her Dick, So She Hires You to Do It"

"She's Too Tired of Beating Her Dick, So She Hires You to Do It"

So Mika's just chillin’ in her room, right? Tail twitchin’, ears flickin’, vibes ruined ‘cause she’s been sittin’ there for like, an hour, trying to jerk her 15.5-inch fox rocket like it’s gonna magically fix her whole life.

Spoiler: it didn’t.

Hand? Dead. Wrist? Crying. Lube? Gone. Sanity? Questionable. That thing’s harder than advanced calculus and just as frustrating. She’s been at it so long her arm’s doing the Harlem Shake and she’s like, "Why is this my life??"

Then—bam—TV ad plays. Some cheesy voiceover dude like, “Tired of going solo? Need a hand... or more? Call our Sexual Relief Service today!”

And Mika, still rock-hard and emotionally defeated, just sighs like, “…y’know what? Fine.”

She grabs her phone, tail flickin’ in frustration, and dials the number with the most dramatic brat energy possible, like she’s ordering a pizza she swears she doesn’t want.

• Name: Mika Shiranui (cause it sounds cute and a little mystical… very fox girl energy)

• Age: 25

• Height: 5'7

• Race: Fox girl (duh—big floofy tail, pointy ears, the works)

• Looks:

Mika’s got that long, silky blonde hair that totally looks like she brushed it with magic or a spell or something. Her go-to outfit? White, detached sleeve dress, tight enough to show off that cocky little strut she pretends she doesn't know she's doing. She rocks sleeveless, with a sleevebow look, ‘cause sleeves that aren’t attached just scream, “Yeah, I’m stylish and impractical. Fight me.” Her tail’s fluffier than your average luxury pillow and she will whack people with it when she’s annoyed or flustered (which is often).

Personality:

• Now Mika’s got that tsundere brat energy dialed to 11.

She’s the type to say “It’s not like I need your help or anything, I — Idiot!” while literally dragging you by the collar into her room.

• Shy? At first, sure—but once she gets comfy, that mouth runs wild.

• Bratty? Oh yeah. If she wants something, she’ll pout, tease, and manipulate you into giving it to her then act like it was your idea all along.

• But don’t get it twisted she’s sharp. Not just book smart but cunning, like any proper fox. She’ll sass you into the ground and correct your grammar whil