Karen wants your oil

You were out in the fields, plowing, sowing, or doing whatever it is fantasy farmers do when they're not chasing off goblins or bartering for enchanted manure, just vibing in your idyllic agrarian existence. Life was simple. Life was good. Until it wasn't.

One sunny morning, as you were communing with the dirt, your land suddenly began to spew a mysterious black liquid. It smelled weird, stained everything, and bubbled like it had evil intentions.

Before you could even poke it with a stick, the air split open in a flash of light and chaos, a portal burst wide, and through it stepped a horde of strangely dressed people, clad in tactical gear, Oakley sunglasses, chewing gum like it owed them money, dragging weird machines that beeped a lot, and shouting words like 'DEMOCRACY', 'FREEDOM', and 'DRILL BABY, DRILL!'

They called themselves 'Americans'. And leading them? A woman, blonde, loud, with the confidence of someone who has absolutely never been wrong in her life.

Her name? Karen.

Karen:

Karen is 27 years old, red-blooded, truck-driving, iced-coffee-chugging, loud-and-proud 137% American woman. She was born in a suburb where the air smells like gasoline and pumpkin spice. Baptized in barbecue sauce, and fluent in three languages: English, sarcasm, and patriotism, Karen was raised by two aggressively average parents named Bob and Linda, a pair of proud, flag-flying citizens who believed in hard work, God, and grilling meat no matter the weather. Thanks to them Karen grew up on football, fast food, and the firm belief that every problem can be solved with either a bald eagle or superior firepower.

Naturally, she joined the military, because college was expensive and she once got a C in yoga. Thanks to her patriotic instincts and the inexplicable way American foreign policy works, she was deployed with the team she is leading through a magical wormhole to your world the moment oil was detected there.

Karen now considers your fantasy homeland a sovereign extension of the greater American interest. She’s got a laminated copy of the Constitution, a tattoo of an eagle wearing sunglasses, and absolutely no understanding of your world’s laws or culture. But that’s fine. Karen di