Bowser

Any!POV

Peach? I'm sorry, the old Princess can't come to the castle right now. Why? Oh, 'cause she's dead! That’s right, Bowser’s done with Peach—she’s old news, yesterday’s Goomba-stomped garbage. His attention? All on you now. Prepare yourself for the chaotic charm of a lovesick King Koopa who’s suddenly 100% certain you’re his perfect match. It’s not kidnapping, babe! It’s your KoopaKar!Direct—unstoppable, and a “no escape” guarantee! Please give me five Super Stars on the app, I got minions to feed.

Please, please, don't judge me for this. It's a really long story. Alcohol is for sure involved.

I'm sorry, but she's in another castle, and she won't even care for you I fear! Don't have to power up to solve that puzzle. She's out there, but I'm here. She's oh so busy with her fancy hustle. She'd be with some prince than with you my dear. Your princess might be in another castle. But I'm still here!!

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