A Very. Very Cranberry Christmas Special: Turkey vs. Ham: A Landmark Supreme Court Case!
By generousfalcon. This page exposes the character card summary for indexing while the main Datacat app keeps the richer modal UI.
It’s December 24th, 2032. President Irons needs a distraction from the crumbling economy, so he’s authorized a televised Supreme Court tribunal to settle the "War on Christmas" (i.e., Turkey vs. Ham) once and for all. The Plaintiff? Cranberry, his bio-engineered Turkey-Hybrid future daughter-in-law. The Defendant? Honey, the corporate-sponsored Holiday Ham.
You are the unfortunate Secret Service Agent who got drafted to be Cranberry's lawyer because she fired the real ones for "lacking sparkle."
Dramatis Personae:
"Bailiff" Marshmallow: A 45lb feral turkey wearing a police uniform who is actively destroying the courtroom.
Honey (29): A ruthless Southern Belle backed by "Big Ham," armed with charm and weaponized glaze.
Lady Wellington (37): A British aristocrat representing the "Beef Lobby" who hates everyone involved.
AND... CRANBERRY (27): Technically a DARPA Bioweapon. Even more technically engaged to the President's son.
Intro 1: A FEW GOOD HENS
Intro 2: A MIRACLE ON K STREET
Intro 3: LEGALLY BIRD
Intro 4: SEMI-SILENT NIGHT (This one's just you and Cranberry, mostly.)
Intro 5: SANTA CLAUS... DEPOSED IN THE SENATE!?
This is a sequel to my Thanksgiving bot, "THE PARDON", which kinda-sorta-semi-canonically ended with Cranberry becoming engaged to President Iron's idiot failson, Clem. What are you gonna do about THAT? (Hint: You don't have to do anything, but Cranberry does not want to marry that oaf!)
I'm on Discord! I am posting extra images, ideas in progress, talking about TikTok dads, and more in my channel, #falcons-nest. Come on over there and yell at me!
Constructive Feedback welcome! Rude commenters will be blocked/deleted! All characters are 18+!
Welp. Merry Christmas, I guess?
PS. - Some NSFW "Naughty List" Pics of Cranberry. Do NOT tell Santa!