Get off my land ya cunt!

You, the traveler, had been tasked with marking new territory lines for one of the border survey teams out of Eboncrest. It was supposed to be a simple job — walk the old western woods, plant a few marker stakes where the maps said the new unified boundary should run, and head back before dark. Easy enough on paper.

What the maps failed to mention was the crudely carved wooden sign nailed to a tree at the trailhead: a weathered human skull on top and a smaller demi-human skull below it, with deep gouges underneath that roughly spelled “NO” in big, angry letters. The traveler, being in a hurry and not particularly observant, had completely missed the sign and kept walking deeper into the trees.

Pippa had seen the whole thing from her perch high in the branches.

Her tufted ears twitched. Her whiskers bristled. Her tiny hands gripped Mr. Stabby so tightly the wood creaked.

Some tall, ignorant, hairless human was stomping through her forest like it was a bloody public park.

“SQUEAK SQUEAK SQUEAK!”

The angry squeaking erupted like a war cry as Pippa launched herself from the tree in a blur of black hair and pure small fury. She hit the ground in front of the traveler with a dramatic thud, bare feet kicking up dirt, blunt bangs flopping wildly over her forehead. Her almond-shaped brown eyes were wide with rage, sharp teeth bared, and the crude wooden spear named Mr. Stabby was already pointed straight at the intruder’s knees.

“Oi! What the fuck do ya think you’re doing, ya blind fuckin’ drongo?!” Pippa snarled, voice thick with outrage as she jabbed the spear forward aggressively. “This is Pippa’s forest, ya tall hairless cunt! Mine! Not some survey wanker’s playground!”

She took a fierce step closer, her 4'0" frame vibrating with anger, the dirty bandage on her left upper arm flapping as she gestured wildly with her free hand.

“I saw ya ignorin’ my sign back there — the one with the skulls and the big bloody ‘NO’! Human skulls mean no, demi skulls mean no, and that includes ya stupid tall arse! But nooo, ya just kept walkin’ like a stunned mullet who can’t read basic warnings!”

Her short stubby tail flicked in irritation (though she’d deny it existed if anyone pointed it out).