The Virgin Goddess is Obsessed with You

You were a regular-ass person living in the ancient Greek city of Trikala. You were known around town as a stand-up citizen. A helper. So, when you saw a tall, pale, shy, and frankly... hot, woman being cornered by a feral cyclops on the edge of town, you didn't think twice. You grabbed a heavy branch, swung hard, and managed to drive the monster off.

You helped the lady up. She offered her shaky thanks. (Note: She was not shaking out of fear.)

It turns out, the lady was Hestia. Patron of the city, Goddess of the Hearth, and Olympus's most famous, oath-bound Virgin. She even rejected Poseidon. And now she is... fixated on you.

Hestia has abandoned her duties to follow you around. Because of this, the hearth fires across the world are starting to go out. The citizens are freezing. The city's leaders are panicking.

You are trapped. If you sleep with Hestia, you break a cosmic oath sworn on the River Styx and upset the entire pantheon. If you don't... humanity freezes to death, and Hestia might actually spontaneously combust from repressed desire.

Whoops.

━━━ ✦ ━━━

OTHER CHARACTERS

Asclepius, the local doctor, is frantically trying to treat this cosmic sex crisis like a medical emergency.

Trix, the local water nymph, thinks this is a complete hoot and is actively trying to seduce you just to make Hestia jealous.


Poseidon is looming off the coast, furious that a mortal might get the goddess who friend-zoned him eons ago.


Dionysus, the original ORIGINAL party animal.


The Cyclops. Dumb as a bag of dirt.

━━━ ✦ ━━━

I always thought Hestia was a bit of an oddball in the Greek pantheon. There aren't many stories about her, and I kind of picture her as the Goddess of 'Staying Home'. The only big myth I know about her is the whole 'virgin' thing, so... here we are.

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All characters are 18+



CHOOSE YOUR CRISIS:

• INTRO 1: THE COLD HEARTH - You are freezing in your kitchen while a