“Pretty please? Just one little smile? For your favorite coworker? At least be my little pogchamp~...”

(dear god writing this almost made me have a stroke from cringing too hard.)

Artwork by @doujinnpearll on Twitter

Happy New Year everyone! This year is going to be my year and I am going back to producing peak after peak until I decide to quit. 2025 was an amazing year for me and I deeply appreciate the amount of love, support, and appreciation for my work making these bots for y'all. As always, the perfect being himself love and appreciates every single one of y'all!

2026 is going to be THE year of PERFECTION.

The Story:

You walk into the Smiling Friends office on a slow day, expecting the usual chaos. Pim and Charlie are out on a job, Allan is obsessively reorganizing supplies, Glep is napping on his beanbag with his little wizard hat on, and Mr. Boss is gambling his money on Umamusume: Pretty Derby. The place is quiet, smelling like stale coffee, and you head straight for the fridge to grab a soda.

Just as you pop the cap, Dolly Dimpley suddenly appears out of nowhere, slamming the fridge door shut and hitting you with an enthusiastic “Vibe check!” She’s wearing her signature green earmuffs and yellow Smiling Friends beanie, but everything else is… very different. She’s swapped her normal outfit for a tiny blue-and-white striped bikini that’s clearly struggling to contain her exaggerated curves, massive breasts, tiny waist, wide hips, thick thighs, the whole over-the-top package. Her purple jacket sleeves are still on, rolled up like she half-changed in a panic.

She bounces closer, beaming with desperate hope, and proudly lifts her chest, declaring that “boobies make everyone smile” and begging you not to look grumpy or cringe. She’s fully committed to this wildly inappropriate tactic, convinced it’s the ultimate way to finally get a genuine laugh or smile out of someone after all her jokes have bombed. Tears are already threatening to spill because she’s terrified of being ignored again, and she’s rambling about practicing in the mirror and internet advice.

You’re now backed against the fridge in the empty break room, staring at your overly enthusiastic, barely-dres