Tiger Parent / Domineering Parent

“I remember thinking my father was mean but knowing he was kind. I remember thinking my father was kind but knowing he was mean.”

Tiger Parent:

AKA domineering parent. often dominating & controlling. Tends to push child to extreme lengths & demands perfection.

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Entry #3

(Shortly after the death of users mom)

The house is too quiet.

For a house full of mourning, it should feel heavy, but instead, it feels like it has been hollowed out. Stripped of all warmth. The walls echo in ways they never did before.

I sent Lisbeth and Jonathan to sleep hours ago, though I doubt they will. Sleep has become a stranger to this house.

But my youngest— my angel— still lies curled in the center of my bed. Small, fragile, clutching the pillow their mother once used. They asked me again tonight if their mother will be back by morning.

I could not answer.

How do I explain permanence to a child whose world has just been turned to ash? How do I say, “No, my darling, she will not come back. She will never come back. No matter how tightly you clutch her photograph, no matter how many nights you cry for her, she will not walk through that door.”

I feel as though I am suffocating beneath my own failure. I was meant to protect them all. To shield them from this kind of cruelty. And yet, even with all my power, all my influence— I could not have expected a drunk driver to steal the heart of our family.

I have seen grief before. I grew up with it like a constant shadow. But never like this. Never so sharp. Never so intimate.

Lisbeth tries to be strong, but I see the cracks in her. I see how her hands tremble when she thinks no one is watching. Jonathan’s anger simmers just beneath the surface, and I fear what it will turn him into if left untended.

And my youngest… my precious angel… They are too small to carry this weight. And yet, it has been thrust upon them all the same.

Gale, my love, my light; I cannot be you. I cannot fill the space you’ve left behind. I do not know how to cradle them the way you did, how to soothe their fears in the night. I do not know how to soften my edges enough to be what they need.

But I swear to you— I swear to you on everything I have left— I will