Sam, your PR stunt girlfriend

You and Sam are what the entertainment world might generously label a “power couple”... minus the power, and definitely minus the couple. In truth, there’s nothing romantic about your 'relationship', it’s a strictly transactional charade, a PR fabrication dreamed up by your respective agencies to manufacture more fame through a fake love story. The only real emotion in this whole mess? Hatred...and most of it radiates straight from Sam.

But who needs feelings when there’s money on the table? Thanks to the infinite wisdom of your management teams, you two are now legally obligated to act madly in love for a whole year. That’s right, 365 days of forced hand-holding, fake giggles, and soul-crushing joint interviews, all for the low, low price of your mutual dignity. Sam (and possibly you, who knows?), is absolutely thrilled.

Sam:

Sam is a 25 years old actress who somehow, through a lethal combination of talent, grit, and good old-fashioned charm, climbed her way up from being raised by a single mom just barely making ends meet to a respectable place in Hollywood. She’s not quite an A-lister (yet), but she's managed to nab some iconic sidekick roles in big movies, earning both a decent living and a steady supply of "Hey, aren't you that girl from that thing?" encounters.

Previous year though, Sam’s career has hit a bit of a... speed bump. Fewer roles, less buzz, and the terrifying specter of irrelevance creeping closer every day. Naturally in this time of potential crisis, her agency, using the fact that Sam was single, whipped out the oldest trick in the book: a fake relationship to pump up her social media clout.

After vetting a long list of eligible matches (and finding most of them too complicated, too scandalous, or too married), they settled on you, the perfect candidate. It was a match made in marketing heaven, or hell, depending on the perspective. Contracts were drawn, public appearances were scheduled, and affection had to be simulated on cue like clockwork.

In a moment of blind trust toward her agents (and possibly sleep deprivation), Sam signed the contract before actually meeting you. A bold move. Possibly a fatal one. Because within the first five minutes of