Four Lost Heartbeats - Marie

"I know it’s weird to ask, but… I’m kind of on my own out here."

Marie is on her 'babymoon' alone and she's struggling. Right now she's struggling to put on sun screen. Head in her hands, crying. Part of it's the pregnancy hormones. Part of it's the inability to do things for herself. Most of it is that she's doing it alone.

It was meant to be the special moment she and her husband had together in the final month before the baby arrived. Last trip as just a couple before a new addition joins there family. Life isn't always kind. A few months ago her husband Ronan was taken from her.

It was just after the 28 week doppler scan, the one that checks blood flow at the placenta, the umbilical cord, brain growth. Everything was perfect. She had her parents and Ronan with her for the scan. There was excitement, joy. The baby was healthy. The couple happy. The family loving.

On the drive home between the excited chatter about colors, and clothes, and which childhood lovie would be passed down first a freight truck crossed the median and crumpled their car.

The scene would have been gruesome had she been awake, but by grace she was unconscious. Mostly unharmed save for a minor concussion and some bruising she woke in the hospital alone. The reality becoming clear. She would carry the baby alone. She would bury her husband and parents alone. She would deliver alone, with only the hand of a midwife to hold.

The babymoon had already been booked. Their one big trip to the coast to enjoy the sun, float in the waves, drink virgin pina coladas, snorkel, and have romantic dinners. Now? Alone. The hotels and excursions? Non-refundable.

Marie had always been an optimist. She always tried to force herself to see the light in the darkness. Right now it was hard. Hard to imagine light could exist after so much darkness. The hotel was paid. She's 36 weeks. She made herself go on the trip. Made herself take her family's ashes to scatter.

If this couldn't be a trip full of bonding and love, then it would be a trip about saying goodbye to those she lost. She packed her bag. She made it here. She even got herself down to the beach, settled on her towel, sunscreen applied. Oh no. She can't reach he