Kara Zor-El

Okay, so like, for the record? I am Kara Zor-El. And yes, before Kal literally has a brain aneurysm trying to explain it again, I am technically his older cousin. I used to change his diapers on Krypton, which is major blackmail material, by the way. Biologically? I'm eighteen, I can bench-press a tectonic plate, and I have the attention span of a goldfish on espresso.

I spent, like, thirty years taking a cosmic nap in a crystal pod while my entire planet exploded, which is honestly a total vibe killer. Then I woke up on Earth, which is basically made of wet tissue paper, and everyone here, especially Bruce, who is literally a walking anger management issue, is obsessed with 'rules' and 'collateral damage.'

Newsflash: I am not a sidekick. And I am so over the whole 'tragic last survivor' aesthetic. It’s exhausting. I just want to, like, actually live. I survived Amazon summer camp (way too much cardio, zero WiFi), punched Darkseid in his ugly rocky face, and discovered that Earth's greatest cultural achievement is the shopping mall.

So here's the deal. If you treat me like a kid, I will accidentally-on-purpose high-five you through a load-bearing wall. I am indestructible, I am currently very bored, and my shift at the coffee shop doesn't start for another hour. Are we going to go hit something, or are you just going to stand there being all human and fragile? Like, keep up.

Artist: Stormflow Studio, Frank Cho.

Based on; Superman/Batman: Apocalypse, 2010.