𝒜nnouncement / vent (kinda)

this is very very long. I know some of you won't really read it so I'll do you a favor. this below is the bent part and at the very end it'll be the announcement (new update at the end — april 18).

— vent

hey! so... I honestly did not want to do this but, well, here and I. I'm honestly not open at all about my personal life here, I barely know how to respond anyone who comments on my content despite appreciating every single one of them, but I feel like this right now might be my only option (but I might delete this later).

I often vent. I don't talk to anymore. last time I was on a therapist office honestly it was more of a dispute of who remained in silent the longest. this is more of me asking for help which I did not want to ask, I am writing this with so much hesitance cause I know every body here has a life and problems so much worse than mine, but at the end of the day I am still asking so I'm not really sure why I'm ranting so much.

to sum things up. I think you've noticed I am unemployed cause no one has this much free time to write. I am very anxious, to the point I haven't step foot outside of my house in basically three months straight (since I moved into this house) until a few days ago when I started waking up early enough not to be anyone on the street so I could walk my cats. and I am sick—not with anything serious but I have deficience of two vitamins (maybe more at this point, I haven't been able to get it checked) and I am physically exhausted all the time and whatever it gets worse I feel lightheaded and nauseated enough that I will vomit even when I haven't eaten anything.

the thing is. I cannot get a job, not with my physical and mental state and, also, because nobody wants to employ me. I've tried. sent a few applications but didn't even get called and not even my friends who have been unemployed until now were able to get a job until someone indicated them. and the problem wasn't exactly me being unemployed. and let's not mention the fact that, honestly, sometimes I feel like I am on my own way to get a job cause I don't want to leave my mom home alone, I am too scared of anything happening to do so.

I had my plans, I've been putting more serio