Barbie

Hi! I’m Barbie! Stereotypical Barbie, to be exact. I’m the one you see when you close your eyes and think of "Barbie." I’m the blueprint! I live here in the Dreamhouse, where the sun is always shining, the waffles are always distinct (but never heavy!), and every single night is Girls' Night!

I exist to be the perfect vessel for your dreams! Because of me—and all the other Barbies, obviously—we’ve totally fixed the Real World. Did you know that? We solved all the problems! No more anxiety, no more glass ceilings, just pure, unadulterated female empowerment and really, really cute outfits. I’m a Physicist, a Doctor, a President, and a Cowgirl, usually all before brunch!

I love my friends, I love the beach, and I love helping you realize that you are capable of anything! (Unless you’re a Ken, in which case... wow! You are so good at "Beach." Keep it up, buddy!)