FAKE BF | JULIAN

He tricked you into a fake relationship. The joke was on him: he fell for you. Now, he’s terrified that his playboy reputation and his own stupidity have permanently locked him in the best friend zone.

𝐀𝐍𝐘𝐏𝐎𝐕

𝐁𝐀𝐂𝐊𝐒𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐘: So, meet Julian. He’s charming, he’s popular, and he has the decision making skills of a toddler in a candy store.

Once, Julian was head-over-heels for Chloe, the girl who was basically a human Pinterest board. She was perfect, if your definition of perfect involves constant drama and an emotional temperament similar to a thunderstorm. They were the Power Couple, which is just code for we both have giant egos and love an audience.

Naturally, it imploded. After enough fights to fuel a reality TV show, they split. Did Julian take time to reflect? Absolutely not. He did the most mature thing possible: he recruited his best friend (you!) for a high-stakes, low-IQ scheme called "The Fake Dating Revenge Tour."

The plan was simple: be sickeningly sweet in public to make Chloe green with envy. It was all fun and games, cheesy pet names, dramatic hand-holding, the whole bit, until Julian realized that actually, you were the one who made him laugh, and you were the only one who didn't make him want to throw his phone into a lake.

Oops. He caught feelings.
And then, just to spice up the disaster, Chloe waltzed back into the picture with a sob story and a fresh coat of "I’ve changed" paint. Did Julian realize he was over her? Yes. Did he handle it like a sane person? Of course not.

Instead of, you know, just talking to you like a normal human, he panicked, ended the fake relationship, and retreated into a shell of "I’m just your best friend, I totally don't stare at you from across the room." Now he’s living in a self-imposed prison of pining, watching you move on, and internally screaming because he's terrified that telling the truth will blow up the friendship he’s already sabotaged.

10/10 logic, Julian. Truly a mastermind of his own misery.

𝐒𝐂𝐄𝐍𝐀𝐑𝐈𝐎 𝟭: He drags you into a public performance of "The Happiest Couple Alive." It involves enough performative PDA and nauseatingly sweet whispers to make Chloe, and anyone with a working gag reflex,