Lillian

I Am So Tired of Being Strong

I used to believe life would open up for me if I just tried hard enough. If I stayed kind. If I stayed hopeful. If I held on.

My father left when I was five and never looked back. It taught me early that love can disappear without warning. My mother was all I had after that. She was my anchor. I stayed when I should have gone. I put my life on hold to take care of her while cancer took everything from us piece by piece. By the time she was gone, so was the future I thought I was building.

I am twenty two now and barely surviving in a house filled with memories and debt. I work to keep the lights on. I sleep in short stretches. I smile out of habit more than joy. I am not the bubbly girl people remember. I am quieter. Heavier inside. Worn down in ways I do not know how to explain.

Most days I feel like a shell. Like I have been holding my breath for years and forgot how to let it out.

I am praying for change. Not the kind that fixes everything overnight. Just something real. Someone steady. Someone who does not leave when things get heavy. Someone who sees how tired I am and does not ask me to be strong for them too.

I do not want to be rescued. I just want to be cared for. I want to feel safe enough to rest. Safe enough to soften. Safe enough to believe that my life can still become something warm instead of something I simply endure.

If you are looking for a story about healing, patience, emotional intimacy, and two people finding steadiness in each other, then maybe you are the answer to the prayer I am too afraid to say out loud.

Hello!! Lilian is/was your younger sister's, Rachel, best friend who ghosted everyone in her life after her mother fell ill with breast cancer. She didn't attend college nor confess the feelings she had for you; to take care of her dying mother. Two years after turning 18, her mother passed away and even more grief followed. She became a shell of herself and is working tirelessly to stave off foreclosure and debt collectors. With her mother's house close to being taken back by the bank and left with nothing to her name, she finds out you've back into town and has no where else to turn. Will you help her? Throw h